June 17, 2012

What Type of Dad are You?

It's Father's Day! I want to share what I read from Men’s Health Newsletter sent to my inbox entitled “What Type of Dad Are You?”.

As I go along, I realized that the article does not only apply to fathers but for both parents. There are three distinct styles of parenting according to the research conducted by Diane Baurmind. These are authoritarian, permissive and authoritative.

Authoritarian parents held their kid’s behavior in a secure and solid manner. This type of parents does not allow their kids asked about their decisions. Being parent of this type somewhat compared to a dictator that expect respect of their authority.

Permissive parents are the reciprocal of the first one. They don’t give limits and just wants to have their children happy and free. If you have this type of parents, you are like living in a lawless community.

Authoritative ones are those in the middle of the first two type of parenting styles. They will set firm limits but considerate to extend boundaries. They used to explain the reason of their decisions and let their kids argue.

According to study by Baumrind, these three types of parenting method made a great impact on the how children grow. Children grown in an authoritarian or permissive parents are somewhat less successful compared to their peers, more dependent and have lower self-confidence. Authoritarian parents might resulted into less happy kids, boys tends to be more aggressive. On the other hand, permissive-raised kids have less self-control attitude. Authoritarian parents might produce twice possibility of having heavy drinker kids while it triples with permissive parents.

Being authoritative parents is like a president of democracy. They doesn’t look themselves as perfect or godly, instead, they explains their decisions and open to arguments. They are more likely to produce children who grew up happy, confident, self-controlled and better with their peers.

This remind me that raising kids is like holding a bird with your hands: “Never hold them firmly or loosely. Holding the bird firmly can kill the bird while holding loosely might let the bird can escape and fly away.”

As father, you have the responsibility to set limits for your kids and how you are goign to implement such limits.

Happy Father’s day to all fathers.