By the way, Mommy wrote earlier about tips on
how to protect kids from cyber bullying, now I am sharing another story about bullying. This does not mean that we also encounter the same situation with our son.
Nagkataon lang siguro that we have a common topic in our mind to share about.
Matthew is doing great in school and didn't have any bullying cases around the school. He is, in fact, the a charming kid that even other grade levels know him and love to pinch his cheeks.
Though there are times he told us that one of his classmates called him "tabachoy", we keep on telling him not to fight back but told his teacher about it or simply say: “Healthy lang ako. Kasi kumakain ako ng
gulay.”
I know
that teasing like that is not as serious as we thought because at their age they still not know the real meaning of what they are saying. However, if we don't take action to stop it, they may grow up bullies.
Going back to the story of Mahiwagang Burnay, here is the open letter of Rachel Kirk to those who bullied her 11-year old daughter, Abby.
Dear Bullies
My 11-year-old
daughter wants to die. She actually wants to end her own life.
It’s a shocking
statement, isn’t it? But it’s one that has to be made because YOU need to hear
it out loud. You need to know the damage you are doing before my beautiful
little girl becomes another suicide statistic – before YOU bully her to death.
Abby used to be
quite extrovert, she was a fun and bubbly little girl. She had plenty of
friends at primary school.
But since she
started at Driffield School six months ago, the happy girl I knew and loved has
disappeared.
You have already
succeeded in killing her soul. I can see in her frightened eyes that she
believes the things you say. You call her ugly. You say she is worthless.
Please stop.
Five weeks ago
Abby came home and asked me what rape meant.
She hadn’t watched
an inappropriate TV programme. She hadn’t stumbled across the word in a book or
magazine. YOU told her you were going to rape her.
As I tried as best
I could to explain to an 11-year-old what that nasty word meant, I choked back
my tears. My loving daughter tried to stay strong but just days later she sent
me this text: “I want to die. PLEASE HELP ME DIE. I JUST WANNA DIE.”
She was in her
bedroom and was too nervous to say the words to my face. Watching her grow up,
I had never imagined that one day I’d hear my full-of-life daughter tell me she
wanted to die.
I was stunned, I
sobbed, I tried to comfort her. But only YOU can help. Please stop.
Abby’s torment
began when you threw a piece of food at her in September, less than two weeks
after she joined the school. She had been sitting outside the canteen, getting
to know her new friends. Within days, large stones were thrown at her. And the
names were quick to follow.
By Christmas, you
were frequently calling her fat and ugly. After the festive season, which she
spent begging me to be allowed to change school or be home-educated, the
bullying has seemed to escalate.
In January, you
told Abby her eyes were too big and said you wanted to kill her. The daily name
calling has continued, with vile, obscene insults including c***, fat t**t, pig
and scum.
A week ago, you
even tried to push her down the stairs. You called her a fat peasant. She has
no self-confidence left, no self-worth.
She is terrified
to go to school every single day. She’s missing out on her education because
she’s sometimes too frightened to leave the house in the morning. When she does
go in, she can’t concentrate. She spends every minute counting the seconds
until she can come home.
Abby is the
kindest, most loving person I know. She is a true gift. She is my world and it
breaks my heart watching her suffer.
Sometimes I feel
I’m failing my daughter. My job as a mum is to protect her, yet I can’t. I feel
helpless, useless and powerless. You call her worthless but it feels like it’s
me who is worthless. Yet I don’t know what more I can do.
My sweet, caring
11-year-old daughter is having private counselling. Her GP has referred her to
the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service.
Every incident of
bullying has been reported to Driffield School. Poor Abby tells me no one can
help. She says no one can stop the bullies.
But YOU can help.
YOU can stop. You HAVE to… before Abby ends up dead.
Yours sincerely,
I know it is difficult for our kids to be in the same situation as Abby but as parent it is more difficult for us to see our kids suffering from bullying that leads to give-up their school and even their lives.
We should have a close observation on our kids. Communication is also a big tool on this issue.
Do you have experience about bullying?