November 20, 2015

An Open Letter to Bullies

Another story that captured my attention in Tambalan's Kweneto ng Mahiwagang Burnay is about an Open Letter by a mother to the bullies of her daughter.

By the way, Mommy wrote earlier about tips on how to protect kids from cyber bullying, now I am sharing another story about bullying. This does not mean that we also encounter the same situation with our son. Nagkataon lang siguro that we have a common topic in our mind to share about.

Matthew is doing great in school and didn't have any bullying cases around the school. He is, in fact, the a  charming kid that even other grade levels know him and love to pinch his cheeks.

Though there are times he told us that one of his classmates called him "tabachoy", we keep on telling him not to fight back but told his teacher about it or simply say: “Healthy lang ako. Kasi kumakain ako ng gulay.”

I know that teasing like that is not as serious as we thought because at their age they still not know the real meaning of what they are saying. However, if we don't take action to stop it, they may grow up bullies.

Stop Bullying Before it Starts
Source:White World Herald

Going back to the story of Mahiwagang Burnay, here is the open letter of Rachel Kirk to those who bullied her 11-year old daughter, Abby.

Dear Bullies

My 11-year-old daughter wants to die. She actually wants to end her own life.
It’s a shocking statement, isn’t it? But it’s one that has to be made because YOU need to hear it out loud. You need to know the damage you are doing before my beautiful little girl becomes another suicide statistic – before YOU bully her to death.
Abby used to be quite extrovert, she was a fun and bubbly little girl. She had plenty of friends at primary school.
But since she started at Driffield School six months ago, the happy girl I knew and loved has disappeared.
You have already succeeded in killing her soul. I can see in her frightened eyes that she believes the things you say. You call her ugly. You say she is worthless. Please stop.
Five weeks ago Abby came home and asked me what rape meant.
She hadn’t watched an inappropriate TV programme. She hadn’t stumbled across the word in a book or magazine. YOU told her you were going to rape her.
As I tried as best I could to explain to an 11-year-old what that nasty word meant, I choked back my tears. My loving daughter tried to stay strong but just days later she sent me this text: “I want to die. PLEASE HELP ME DIE. I JUST WANNA DIE.”
She was in her bedroom and was too nervous to say the words to my face. Watching her grow up, I had never imagined that one day I’d hear my full-of-life daughter tell me she wanted to die.
I was stunned, I sobbed, I tried to comfort her. But only YOU can help. Please stop.
Abby’s torment began when you threw a piece of food at her in September, less than two weeks after she joined the school. She had been sitting outside the canteen, getting to know her new friends. Within days, large stones were thrown at her. And the names were quick to follow.
By Christmas, you were frequently calling her fat and ugly. After the festive season, which she spent begging me to be allowed to change school or be home-educated, the bullying has seemed to escalate.
In January, you told Abby her eyes were too big and said you wanted to kill her. The daily name calling has continued, with vile, obscene insults including c***, fat t**t, pig and scum.
A week ago, you even tried to push her down the stairs. You called her a fat peasant. She has no self-confidence left, no self-worth.
She is terrified to go to school every single day. She’s missing out on her education because she’s sometimes too frightened to leave the house in the morning. When she does go in, she can’t concentrate. She spends every minute counting the seconds until she can come home.
Abby is the kindest, most loving person I know. She is a true gift. She is my world and it breaks my heart watching her suffer.
Sometimes I feel I’m failing my daughter. My job as a mum is to protect her, yet I can’t. I feel helpless, useless and powerless. You call her worthless but it feels like it’s me who is worthless. Yet I don’t know what more I can do.
My sweet, caring 11-year-old daughter is having private counselling. Her GP has referred her to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service.
Every incident of bullying has been reported to Driffield School. Poor Abby tells me no one can help. She says no one can stop the bullies.
But YOU can help. YOU can stop. You HAVE to… before Abby ends up dead.
Yours sincerely,
Rachel Kirk (Source: Mirror)
I know it is difficult  for our kids to be in the same situation as Abby but as parent it is more difficult for us to see our kids suffering from bullying that leads to give-up their school and even their lives.
We should have a close observation on our kids. Communication is also a big tool on this issue.
Stop Bullying Before it Starts
Source: Stop Bullying

Do you have experience about bullying?