June 16, 2012

Stop Crying

Here are some tips how you can stop your kids from screaming when they doesn’t get what they want.

Be in control of your emotions. 
We need to remain calm when our kids cried because they want something. Once we lose our control and get irritated, we tend to get out of control we normally end up giving our kid’s needs.

Teach your child to use words to express what they want. 
Teach your kids to tell you what they want or what they need without crying. Teach them how to ask it properly. Do not give their needs until they stopped crying and tell you want they want. From this, they will learn that crying is not the way of asking something they want.

Avoid situations that will trigger your child to cry. 
Expect all possible situations that will initiate your kids to cry like when they feel hungry, tired or uncomfortable. If you feel that they will cry when they see something, try to hide it. If something frustrates them, divert their attention.

Be consistent and firm when disciplining your child.
Try to be stiff on your decisions but be gentle. Avoid hurting or spanking them. Even you have a firm decision show them that you still care. It is important that your kids understand what you are doing is for their own good, to be a better person. Hugging them while saying “No” is not bad.

Find a “cool down” spot for both your child and you. 
Leaving the place where your kids started to cry and finding a place that will give you both privacy and away from embarrassment can help cool down the situation instead of making the situation worse. You can also take the opportunity to talk with your kids about their wrong behaviour.

Establish communication.   
Explaining your kids why you say “NO” can really help. However, be sure to let them feel that you understand their frustrations and crying will not help them at all.
If your child can talk already, let them speak. Ignoring them because we are busy, will surely trigger them to do something to caught our attention and crying is the most common one.

Strengthen your bond with your child and as a family. 
Have a strong emotional relationship with your kids by showing them that you respect their feelings. Share with their feeling but try to make them realize that crying is not the option to get what they want. Be a good example for your kids too. Show them how you react and behave when you does not get want you want.

Orient other adults as well, especially those whom your child closely interact with.   
Orient other people that your kids usually interact, like close relatives and nanny. Tell them your limitations and importance of having consistency.  Usually grandparents are the one that make your kids “spoiled”.

Reward your child with simple treats for good behavior.
Always keep in mind things that you said “NO” to your kids especially when they used to cry for it. You can give this as rewards in their good behaviour or any special occasion. By this, you will let them feel that they are not deprived and excluded.
Giving rewards does not mean that you will give the same thing they want, you can still have some alternatives especially when it is already beyond your limitations.

Set realistic limitations for both you and your child.
Try to set limits that will not end you from feeling guilty in your way of disciplining your kids. Don’t let your kids act violently when they don’t get what they want. Try to explain why they can’t always have everything they want.  As I learned from one the seminars I attended, setting goals must be realistic, try not to set impossible borderlines because in the end you will be the one to suffer ending to inconsistent decisions.

As parents, we really need to be responsible in taking care of our kids. We always want what is the best for them and hope that they will grow the best they can be.

Source: Smart Parenting