January 5, 2013

The Tortuous Three

On my last post about Terrible Two, I thought that this is the worst behavior of kids as part of their development but I was wrong, I read an article that their behavior might get worse than getting better. Therefore, we need to know some general behaviors of kids at this age in order to handle this stage of kid's development.

Active and expressive – Kids are not just active but they know how to move fast and how to express themselves either in words or in actions. They know how to ask things and will scream when you refuse to what they want.

Want independence – Kids can already tell you what they want or what to do. They want to be allowed to have it or do it. By this act, kids want to extend their boundaries and try anything out of your limitations. This is one thing how kids gain knowledge and confidence. Keeping kids inside  the box will inhibit them on taking changes to learn more and gain self-confidence.

Short-tempered – Most kids at this age cannot handle their emotions ending into tantrums if we, parents, say “NO” to what they want to have or do. Just remember, kids view is not the same as parents.

Attention can be easily distracted – Unless they are focused in an activity, three-year old kids' attention can be easily diverted to other things. So better learn how to distract them if you sensed that they are nearing into tantrums.

How do we handle a three-year old kid? Language is one of the most important tool in order to understand them or else, it will result to what we hated most - TANTRUMS. To aovid this, we need to:

Step into their world – If parents do not understand them, it will usually resulted into tantrums. However, breaking the walls between parents and kids by entering their world will be create a good rapport between the you. As parent, sometimes bringing out the kids in you can be a big help.

Do it like magic – The moment you entered their world, kids will stay calm and open to distraction, suggestions, and humor. Remember to always build rapport with kids or else, you will have the most stressful time of kids development.

Give feedbacks – If your kids want to have by their own, don’t directly refuse on to it, instead, give them feedback that you are happy they want to do it by themselves but explain why they cannot have it for their own. 

Give choices – If the previous tip does not work, give them choices to distract their attention. Remeber, their attentionn can be easily distracted. Tell them that they cannot have what they want if they don’t choose. If they resulted into tantrums, simply leave them and let them know that you will only return after they calmed down.

Don’t yell – Yelling at them will only show that you are not in their world.  You are just raising the stress level and taking away the opportunity to enjoy your kids or train them to what you want.

Matt is just 2 ½ years-old but seems a bit advance since most of the traits exhibited by a three-year old is already observed in him. Good luck to me and mommy for entering the TORTUOUS THREE.